Raw faith.

Hello, Bloggy friends. :) Long time, no see!  I've so missed writing/blogging!  I used to love coming on here and regurgitating some of my deepest, oftentimes random, thoughts.  So there.  I have to be honest, though.  I'm still on a bit of a Blogger hiatus.  I'm in school full-time and do most of my writing for classes.  Currently, I'm in the beginning stages of writing a book.  It's a autobiography with a focus on God and how He's worked in my life; but it'll be written in a way that someone who has not received the grace of God can read and perhaps relate to.  My first deadline is February 23rd, 2011.  So I really don't have much time to write about the first 16 years of my life. :) I have a lot to say!

On another note, I'm very relieved to say that God is absolutely doing a new thing in me.  Lately, I haven't been a church "regular."  I've become a bit burned out on traditional, in-the-box conformity.  I've even given it a name: raw faith.  It's called this simply because I've been very transparent with God lately and have been facing some pretty ugly junk and raw emotions in my heart; many of these things I thought I had learned already but it's almost like I've regressed back to square one.  I feel like a hypocrite saying I'm a Christian when I continue to fall short of what one would call a "good Christian."  Because of this, and the self-condemnation I feel most days, I've felt empty.  I am in desperate need of something else.

I still worship the same Jesus.  I'm just looking for a new way to do that.  I'm ready to reach people that most would never think twice about.  Tonight, I met just the group of people to help me in realizing what my gifts are and how we, as a Body (of Christ), can break free from conformity and have fellowship, accountability, worship, servitude, gratitude, grace, and mercy...alongside one another and all while reaching the "un-Churched."  Fishers Outpost is the name of our group and those who started it are a part of Mercy Road Fellowship.  We're not necessarily doing something new- we're just tired of the old!  We'll meet every Monday in an unassuming place where those who do not know Jesus can come and build relationships with a community of unassuming people.  I'm ready to step out of my comfort zone and let God really shake things up: both in me and through me.