During those times when I'm going through a rough, dry, or particularly hard season, I'll hear a song that will minister to my heart. I can usually get pretty emotional and start crying to the point where nothing is left in me when I'm done. At this time in my life, I'm in one of those seasons. And Third Day's song Call My Name is one such song. I might have it on my playlist, so I strongly urge you to listen, and let your heart be ministered to as well.
It’s been so long since
You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know
There’s a place where you belong
Here in My Arms
When you feel like you’re alone in your sadness
And it seems like no one in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I’ll be there
You just call My name and I’ll be there
The pain inside
Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find
That I’ll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more
When you feel like you’re alone in your sadness
And it seems like no one in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just Call My Name and I’ll be there
You just Call My Name and I’ll be there
You just Call My Name
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
You just Call My Name
The love I have for you is so alive
The love I have for you is so alive
You just Call My Name
God, I need you. Thank you for never leaving me alone in my pain or heartache.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Tagged!
So here is how it goes: When you are tagged you have to share 7 things about yourself, and then tag 7 other people (bloggers) to do the same. I only chose 6 because most of the other bloggers I follow have already done this. :)
So here goes, 7 things I will share about myself:
1. I've been diagnosed as having an Anxiety/Panic Disorder.
2. I failed Pre-Algebra in high school.
3. I have a huge fear of heights.
4. My dream when I was little was to become a writer.
5. I've had three last names.
6. I had a bench warrant out for my arrest for 7 yrs. (seriously).
7. I desire to be more like my Jesus every day.
And here are the 6 I have chosen to tag:
So here goes, 7 things I will share about myself:
1. I've been diagnosed as having an Anxiety/Panic Disorder.
2. I failed Pre-Algebra in high school.
3. I have a huge fear of heights.
4. My dream when I was little was to become a writer.
5. I've had three last names.
6. I had a bench warrant out for my arrest for 7 yrs. (seriously).
7. I desire to be more like my Jesus every day.
And here are the 6 I have chosen to tag:
1) http://chels4god.blogspot.com/
2) http://okieinindy.blogspot.com/
3) http://i-am-not-my-own.blogspot.com/
4) http://mmea7.blogspot.com/
5) http://erika-johanna.blogspot.com/
6) http://legacy-4-my-boys.blogspot.com/
Monday, January 12, 2009
The butterfly.
I kept for nearly a year the flask-shaped cocoon of an emperor moth. It is very peculiar in its construction. A narrow opening is left in the neck of the flask, through which the perfect insect forces its way, so that a forsaken cocoon is as entire as one still tenanted, no rupture of the interlacing fibers having taken place. The great disproportion between the means of egress and the size of the imprisoned insect makes one wonder how the exit is ever accomplished at all- and it never is without great labor and difficulty. It is supposed that the pressure to which the moth's body is subjected in passing through such a narrow opening is a provision of nature for forcing the juices into the vessels of the wings, these being less developed at the period of emerging from the chrysalis than they are in other insects.
I happened to witness the first efforts of my prisoned moth to escape from its long confinement. During a whole forenoon, from time to time, I watched it patiently striving and struggling to get out. It never seemed able to get beyond a certain point, and at last my patience was exhausted. Very probably the confining fibers were drier and less elastic than if the cocoon had been left all winter on its native heather, as nature meant it to be. At all events I thought I was wiser and more compassionate than its Maker, and I resolved to give it a helping hand. With the point of my scissors I snipped the confining threads to make the exit just a very little easier, and lo! immediately, and with perfect ease, out crawled my moth dragging a huge swollen body and little shriveled wings. In vain I watched to see that marvelous process of expansion in which these silently and swiftly develop before one's eyes; and as I traced the exquisite spots and markings of diverse colors which were all there in miniature, I longed to see these assume their due proportions and the creature to appear in all its perfect beauty, as it is, in truth, one of the loveliest of its kind. But I looked in vain. My false tenderness had proved its ruin. It never was anything but a stunted abortion, crawling painfully through that brief life which it should have spent flying through the air on rainbow wings.
I have thought of it often, often, when watching with pitiful eyes those who were struggling with sorrow, suffering, and distress; and I would fain cut short the discipline and give deliverance. Short-sighted! How know I that one of those pangs or groans could be spared? The farsighted, perfect love that seeks the perfection of its object does not weakly shrink from present, transient suffering. Our Father's love is too true to be weak. Because He loves His children, He chastises them that they may be partakers of His holiness. With this glorious end in view, He spares not for their crying. Made perfect through sufferings, as the Elder Brother was, the sons and daughters of God are trained up to obedience and brought to glory through much tribulation.
~excerpt from Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman
I happened to witness the first efforts of my prisoned moth to escape from its long confinement. During a whole forenoon, from time to time, I watched it patiently striving and struggling to get out. It never seemed able to get beyond a certain point, and at last my patience was exhausted. Very probably the confining fibers were drier and less elastic than if the cocoon had been left all winter on its native heather, as nature meant it to be. At all events I thought I was wiser and more compassionate than its Maker, and I resolved to give it a helping hand. With the point of my scissors I snipped the confining threads to make the exit just a very little easier, and lo! immediately, and with perfect ease, out crawled my moth dragging a huge swollen body and little shriveled wings. In vain I watched to see that marvelous process of expansion in which these silently and swiftly develop before one's eyes; and as I traced the exquisite spots and markings of diverse colors which were all there in miniature, I longed to see these assume their due proportions and the creature to appear in all its perfect beauty, as it is, in truth, one of the loveliest of its kind. But I looked in vain. My false tenderness had proved its ruin. It never was anything but a stunted abortion, crawling painfully through that brief life which it should have spent flying through the air on rainbow wings.
I have thought of it often, often, when watching with pitiful eyes those who were struggling with sorrow, suffering, and distress; and I would fain cut short the discipline and give deliverance. Short-sighted! How know I that one of those pangs or groans could be spared? The farsighted, perfect love that seeks the perfection of its object does not weakly shrink from present, transient suffering. Our Father's love is too true to be weak. Because He loves His children, He chastises them that they may be partakers of His holiness. With this glorious end in view, He spares not for their crying. Made perfect through sufferings, as the Elder Brother was, the sons and daughters of God are trained up to obedience and brought to glory through much tribulation.
~excerpt from Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Return to love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
-I Corinthians 13:4-8
I have a choice. Every day. To return to bitterness and resentment, or to turn to love. Fear of abandonment and 'letting people in' has really taken a toll on my heart. Yes, I have great friends that I can be open and honest with. But, I still have issues in my heart that I still deal with in regards to my family. Yes, I love them. But that wall. That wall still threatens to come and build itself up around my heart and my emotions, not letting in people who I've felt always kept me at arms-length when I was growing up. I fight it almost daily. I know my God can show me how to love and forgive. He's been faithful in doing that with other relationships in my life. I know they have not abandoned me. It's a daily dying-to-self. It hurts. I hate it. But, I know it's necessary. It will take effort, prayer, humility...all of which, let's be honest, take determination and will-power. I cannot give up. If I really believe God is in control, I know that He's working everything [even this pain] out for His glory.
Maybe I'll sit down and write a letter. Get my words and emotions down on paper. It usually seems to help better than trying to find the words in the middle of a conversation. I know this is going to result in a breakthrough. I'm more than ready for one.
-I Corinthians 13:4-8
I have a choice. Every day. To return to bitterness and resentment, or to turn to love. Fear of abandonment and 'letting people in' has really taken a toll on my heart. Yes, I have great friends that I can be open and honest with. But, I still have issues in my heart that I still deal with in regards to my family. Yes, I love them. But that wall. That wall still threatens to come and build itself up around my heart and my emotions, not letting in people who I've felt always kept me at arms-length when I was growing up. I fight it almost daily. I know my God can show me how to love and forgive. He's been faithful in doing that with other relationships in my life. I know they have not abandoned me. It's a daily dying-to-self. It hurts. I hate it. But, I know it's necessary. It will take effort, prayer, humility...all of which, let's be honest, take determination and will-power. I cannot give up. If I really believe God is in control, I know that He's working everything [even this pain] out for His glory.
Maybe I'll sit down and write a letter. Get my words and emotions down on paper. It usually seems to help better than trying to find the words in the middle of a conversation. I know this is going to result in a breakthrough. I'm more than ready for one.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Resolutions.
I'm not a huge fan of New Year's resolutions. I don't want to be the kind of person who makes one or more resolutions only to set myself up for failure. But, I've changed my mind, as I do so often. So, here is a small list of things that I'm really, really going to put a lot of time and prayer into accomplishing, or getting better at, this year:
1) buckling down and taking more classes to finish my psychology degree
2) organize my garage, home office, and closets :)
3) write letters to people who are important to me (not just e-mails!)
4) spend time in the Word in the morning and evening
5) become a better listener
6) learn new recipes
7) stop procrastinating...today instead of tomorrow
8) see my family more often
9) pay off my debt (excluding my house)
A few of these may take awhile to really become a part of my life; a 'habit', if you will. I was challenged by my mom this past weekend to, "Get your (my) priorities straight." It's true. They've been all out wack for quite some time now. I want to finish school so I can actually do what I believe I'm called to do. I want to spend time with people I care about, people who've been there for me on so many different levels. To sum it all up: I'd like to stop being selfish and stop putting things off.
Lord, help me. I will need every bit you can give me!
1) buckling down and taking more classes to finish my psychology degree
2) organize my garage, home office, and closets :)
3) write letters to people who are important to me (not just e-mails!)
4) spend time in the Word in the morning and evening
5) become a better listener
6) learn new recipes
7) stop procrastinating...today instead of tomorrow
8) see my family more often
9) pay off my debt (excluding my house)
A few of these may take awhile to really become a part of my life; a 'habit', if you will. I was challenged by my mom this past weekend to, "Get your (my) priorities straight." It's true. They've been all out wack for quite some time now. I want to finish school so I can actually do what I believe I'm called to do. I want to spend time with people I care about, people who've been there for me on so many different levels. To sum it all up: I'd like to stop being selfish and stop putting things off.
Lord, help me. I will need every bit you can give me!
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