He knows my heart and He knows exactly how He made me.
He is my comforter. He sees every tear. I know He is here
to carry my burden for me.
Today, I've experienced every emotion under the sun: anger to the point of spitting nails, hurt, disappointment, fear, doubt...and even a bit of laughter.
When everything seems to be going well, somehow it feels as if the rug is pulled out from under me. Then again, if it feels like that, where is my hope? Where is my trust?
It should not be in a man. Or in how other people view me; even if it is slightly askew.
I feel like someone has punched me in the gut as hard as they possibly can. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I recall what was said to me that made me feel like I was the most horrible creature ever placed on this earth.
Only the Lord knows why this has happened. Why I've lost such a good friend....at least, I thought so...
Words pierce. They can build you up or tear you down. He's still alive, but to experience the loss of a friendship hurts just as bad as anything.
I hoped for the best. I was let down.
He promised me he'd take care of my heart; that promise was broken.
I've heard so many explanations, but none seem to take away the sting of words delivered out of anger. And for what? Did it serve any other purpose but to tear me down?
Maybe just today. Today I will grieve. Today I will feel sad, I will cry, I will think of him and wonder how it got to this point...
But after today, I will take my eyes off of myself and off of the situation; I will place them upon the One who has saved my soul. I've been rejected time and time again by people who've promised they never would. Jesus has made that promise to me. He is forever faithful. The Father I can trust to never leave me will heal my heart. He will hear my prayers to find the strength and grace to forgive. He will bless those who curse me when I pray for them.
There is healing and hope coming. Wait for it. It will not tarry.
