He knows my heart and He knows exactly how He made me.
He is my comforter. He sees every tear. I know He is here
to carry my burden for me.
Today, I've experienced every emotion under the sun: anger to the point of spitting nails, hurt, disappointment, fear, doubt...and even a bit of laughter.
When everything seems to be going well, somehow it feels as if the rug is pulled out from under me. Then again, if it feels like that, where is my hope? Where is my trust?
It should not be in a man. Or in how other people view me; even if it is slightly askew.
I feel like someone has punched me in the gut as hard as they possibly can. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I recall what was said to me that made me feel like I was the most horrible creature ever placed on this earth.
Only the Lord knows why this has happened. Why I've lost such a good friend....at least, I thought so...
Words pierce. They can build you up or tear you down. He's still alive, but to experience the loss of a friendship hurts just as bad as anything.
I hoped for the best. I was let down.
He promised me he'd take care of my heart; that promise was broken.
I've heard so many explanations, but none seem to take away the sting of words delivered out of anger. And for what? Did it serve any other purpose but to tear me down?
Maybe just today. Today I will grieve. Today I will feel sad, I will cry, I will think of him and wonder how it got to this point...
But after today, I will take my eyes off of myself and off of the situation; I will place them upon the One who has saved my soul. I've been rejected time and time again by people who've promised they never would. Jesus has made that promise to me. He is forever faithful. The Father I can trust to never leave me will heal my heart. He will hear my prayers to find the strength and grace to forgive. He will bless those who curse me when I pray for them.
There is healing and hope coming. Wait for it. It will not tarry.
4 comments:
You need to have a good heart to heart with your godmother.
You are in my prayers! I can't say I know how you feel, but I am having a very, very bad week myself,(month, year, or whatever). I don't know what to say other than keep looking to Jesus, he is the author if you let him be.
Lately I have been feeling a bit like Job; I pray He restores to you very soon. I know this may not help now, but like I said before, He must have something better in the works.
And he said: “ Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD.”
Job 1:21
Say a prayer for me if you would, God Bless!
Brigette,
Your friends are the people who are there for you when the rug is pulled out from under you!
There is a vast difference between knowing someone well and being a true friend. The greatest evidence of gunuine friendship is loyality (loving "at all times" Corinthians 13:7) being available to help in times of distress or personal struggles. Too many people are fair-weather friends. They stick around when the friendhip helps them and leave when they're not getting anything out of the relationship.
"A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity."
Proverbs 17:17
Don't be upset be happy to know that there are others (friends) out here who care about you and are praying for you at times like this.
Your friend,
Joe
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