Well worth the sacrifice.

The way God has provided for me these last two months have been nothing short of a miracle. I've struggled with fear and doubt (mainly in regards to financial burdens), almost to the point of lying awake at night, wondering if I'd make it through. One after another, different situations have come up. Who/what will I choose to believe? Why is it that we question God and His sovereignty when everything seems to go wrong at once, but on our 'best' days, our faith in Him and in His promises do not falter? He quietly reminds my heart of His faithful provision and unending grace. Do I still myself long enough to listen? I've had to make a few changes in the way I spend my money. In turn, He's abundantly supplied every unexpected need, in unexpected ways. It amazes me that, when I've come to the end of myself, knowing I can do absolutely nothing to change my circumstances, God steps in and says, "I can take it from here. Now that you have a better understanding of my provision and how it is not dependent upon you, I can show you how much I love you and want to take care of you, and that I am more than able to do so."

This week, I've enjoyed coming home to a quiet house (no offense to 'E', my roomie, who's been gone for a whole month) and just really focusing on being present with God. With my cell phone, computer, t.v., and Ipod, it's easy to become addicted to entertainment. My evenings used to just fly by. I'd get home, walk Spikers, turn on the t.v., cook, and sit down on the couch until I was too tired to stay awake. My routine seems to be changing now...

In our small group the past few weeks, we've challenged one another to really be 'present' with others and with the Lord; I'm learning that this is what God is asking me to do during this season of my life. Just drink Him in. In Him, there's life, peace, and complete satisfaction. The world has nothing to offer me. Anything I accumulate while I'm on this side of heaven will be worthless and forgotten on the day I stand before the Lord. It really all boils down to this: Will I fully commit myself to living a God-centered life, trusting that my life and all of my needs are in His hands, or will I live in turmoil and fear of what I don't understand and cannot change? An addict is someone who cannot live without the thing he will do anything to have; is it possible to have that same hunger and drive for Jesus? Will I commit to spending time with the Lord, forsaking all else? It costs us everything to do so wholeheartedly. Pride, time, money, and our own 'idea' as to what we believe our lives should look like. It's a journey that will not come to an end while we still have breath in our lungs. It's not easy, but the gift of Jesus' presence in our life is well worth the sacrifice. He's made that His promise to us.

Lord God, with your grace alone, I commit to forsake my own life and choose each moment to learn how to live selflessly before You. I cannot do it on my own, for I am merely human. Show me how to love You and serve You with all of my being.


Matthew 11:28-30