Um. Sooo I really don't like my job. I hate crunching numbers. I hate accounting. I like the people I work with but I just do not want to stay here any longer than I have to. I feel like it's sucking the life out of me. My dream job is still a Master's degree away. Please, please God help me stick it out. I may just start looking for something else. I've been here for 3 years. I've put in time, have learned a lot and have been stretched outside of my comfort zone. I'm grateful to even have a job, I fully and wholeheartedly acknowledge that I'm very fortunate and that many would give anything to have a good-paying job with the way things have been in our econonmy.
Not sure if this funk I'm in has anything to do with the way I've been feeling since the wreck. I'm more irritable, having a harder time sleeping and staying asleep at night, and the first two weeks following the accident, I did nothing but cry and want to sleep. Can anyone relate? Is it all just in my mind or is this just a phase...or what?? Is God trying to get my attention to tell me it's time for a new chapter to begin? Feeling restless isn't always a fun feeling. I'd rather be anything but restless! On Sunday evening as I was driving to Kinko's, I just had to scream in my car. I'm sure I probably sounded like a lunatic.
The accident has caused me to take a good, long look at everything in my life. What things can I change? What can I not change and only need to trust God to change it? So many questions. I'm aware of my need to pray for wisdom, of which I've been doing for as long as I can remember. I'm aware of my need to be joyful, because I'm saved by grace through faith. I desire to live out II Corinthians 12:9 which reads, "My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Regardless of my questions, my restlessness, my hurt, my mistakes, I (we) serve a good and gracious God. He won't fail me (us).
So. My first step: Call on Him. Second: Trust His leading. And, most importantly, move forward with a thankful heart, for He does not make mistakes.
