Watch It Bloom.

In the Summer of '07, right after I bought my first home, I planted a dogwood tree in my backyard; one that will boast beautiful and fragrant white flowers during springtime. It's still just under six feet tall and I have yet to see it full of blooms. I'm anxious to witness it grow and become it's full size of between 12-15'.

This morning during my time with God and in reading His Word, an overwhelming sense of His love filled me. Like David in the book of Psalms, I cried over my tendency towards pride and selfishness, fear and my desire at times to do things 'my way'. Like He so often does (because I'm forgetful), He gently reminded me that my salvation is not based on anything I do; not on what I own; not on how 'good' I am; not on my past, present, or my future struggles or accomplishments. It's solely based upon Jesus' unending love and mercy towards me, a sinner through and through. God usually gets my attention the most when I'm at the end of my rope. The end of myself. Knowing I can't be free from fear and anxiety on my own. It's then, when I come with the pure intention to hear His voice over the the world's voice, that I'm ministered to in the simplest yet most remarkable ways.

I paused from crying. From where I sit on my little couch in my home office, I can see my dogwood out the window. It sits in perfect view to my left. I mouthed out loud, to no one in particular (with the exception of my sleeping dog by my side), "I can't wait to watch it bloom." So random of a thought. Then my heart heard God speak, "Me neither." I was talking about my little tree that is still in waiting. Waiting for spring....it looks dead and lifeless. But I know that it will bloom soon!

The Lord was referring to me. Spiritually, I've been in a 'winter season'. Some days it's all I can do to just go through the motions of a work day and come home to start all over again....

I've fought with severe anxiety. And depression. That in itself is enough to choke the life and hope out of you. But I know this season of struggling is serving a purpose. I'm not sure if it's completely over yet, but I can say that God has been right there with me the whole time...through the love and prayers of friends and family...through the healing words of a song...a piece of scripture...

Watch it bloom.

Just as my little dogwood will surely make it through these winter months and sprout leaves and show off its flowers, signifying life and beauty, those that put their hope and their trust in the Lord, even when times are at their most darkest and difficult, shall be saved. God knows the end result to everything we face right now. I'm prone to seeing things in the natural and thinking, "This is the end for me. There's no way I'm going to make it through this with my sanity and my heart intact." The Lord knows better, though. He stretches, He prunes. All out of love for me. He's very careful and purposeful with my heart. As I trust in Him more and more, I become more like my Jesus.

My struggles: He knows. His hand of protection is over my life and my heart. Peace will come again and have its way in me...

Watch it bloom.

Mourning Dove

Spring is just around the corner. And with that comes the birds in the morning outside my bedroom window. Weekends where I can sleep in give me so much joy. This morning as I lay in bed, I heard a woodpecker. But the one bird I get so excited to hear is the Mourning Dove. There's always one in the tree outside my bedroom window that comes back each time the weather gets warmer; although this species of bird doesn't necessarily migrate south in the winter, I have yet to hear one in my yard year-round. I don't know what it is about the Mourning Dove in particular but it immediately takes me back to my childhood. Saturday mornings I'd lie in bed and listen to it. It's sort of a sad sound, like it's crying. Now whenever I hear it, I smile and thank God. It's like a gift from Him to me. Just another sign of His faithfulness for that day. Like He created the Mourning Dove with my name and face in mind. I might be going a little far there, and you might be thinking, "Geez, Bridge, it's just a bird..." But if that small creature brings me so much peace when I hear it, can't you imagine with me that it's God's way of saying, "I'm here with you. Rest and wait on Me and receive My love for you today."

Aaah, I cannot wait for Spring! And for the Mourning Dove to return and sing for me every morning. Here's a link to hear what the dove sounds like, if you're so inclined:

http://www.learnbirdsongs.com/birdsong.php?id=7

Blog fun!

So, a blog friend (http://scottmcqueen.blogspot.com/) got this idea from another blogger and I thought I'd try it. This is the list he had and the idea is to highlight in green the things you've done or experienced (with a short explanation beside it), highlight in red the things you'd like to do before you pass from this life, and leave be the things that don't pertain to either of those options. So, here goes...a little break from the norm.

1. Started your own blog (this one: A little piece of me.)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (I want to sing in one!)
4. Visited Hawaii (many times thanks to the Navy.)
5. Watched a meteor shower (& Haley's Comet.)
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (well, DisneyWorld...)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (a couple of times. Nerve-wracking but wonderful at the same time.)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (once again, Navy..)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning (note to self: do NOT eat at Pizza Hut in Bahrain.)
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked (no, but I've picked one up. She was a teenage girl.)
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (haven't we all?)
24. Built a snow fort...
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping (yeah, whatever..)
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (isn't that one of those boat-thingies?? Sign me up!)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (more times than I can count..and it never gets old.)
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (um...I don't know what I am..?)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (Spanish.)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (I don’t know if money correlates with satisfaction...ditto Scott..)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke (all the time, yo!)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa (I am DEFINITELY doing a missions trip there.)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (do those caricature-thingies count?)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris...
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (do 'Kid Vids' count??)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class (Jiu-jitsu & kick-boxing)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (I've tried umpteen times but always pass out b/c I'm barely above weight standards. Ugh!)
65. Gone sky diving (NO THANKS!!)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (Just kidding.)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (still have my teddy bear!)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar...
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London (that just sounds cool.)
77. Broken a bone (left ring finger.)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (don't tell my parents.)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (both cars I've owned were brand new.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible (and again, and again, and again)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life...
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club (ooh, does this make me a dork?)
93. Lost a loved one (my sister & two cousins, I miss them.)
94. Had a baby (more than one hopefully!)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit (I could've sued Burger King, but I didn't)
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (and wasps!)
100. Read an entire book in one day