My Pastor came up to me on Sunday before the service and said he had had the same dream about me on three different occasions and wanted to share it with me. Before that day, I had only known him in passing, mainly because our church is rather large and it's probably pretty hard to know every single individual and their lives completely. While we were speaking on Monday, the Holy Spirit confirmed everything he shared...all of which I'm still trying to completely grasp the significance of...
I was in a cave. He said there were demons pushing me farther into the cave. They were biting at my feet, hands, and more importantly, at my heart. There were human voices coming from them; they were saying things to me out of anger. One was even touching me in an unclean manner. I was carrying a heavy rock and trying to move it out of the way of the entrance into the cave so that I may escape. Because my feet were so mangled and torn up, I could not get traction to take a step forward. Then, light came into the cave. My hands and feet were beginning to heal. He said I turned around, and in my back were knives and shrapnel. The light shone on my back and it too began to heal. Then, my heart was healing, which he greatly emphasized on. I was then able to push the rock out. My strength was being regained, my wounds were healed, and I was able to leave the cave.
When my Pastor awoke from the dream he prayed and wrote down the revelation God wanted to give him; he also did this the same morning he shared everything with me. He said God has allowed the things that have happened to me in my life to strengthen me and prepare me for ministry. I am being called by the Lord to minister to women who are hurting and broken. He said he didn't know anything about my life or my past (which is true!) but he knows that if anyone were to [have a reason to] give up on God, it would've been me. God gave him a vision of how he sees me. He sees me as a pearl, precious in His sight. God is going to restore, redeem, and bless me with a discerning spirit with regards to whom I can trust. He said God revealed to him the hurt others have caused me, and how my trust has been shattered because of it. He also said that everything I've lost in the natural (or believe I've lost), God was going to return to me ten-fold [in the spiritual].
The Lord is calling me to 'carry' women out of their hurt. He had a vision of women who were bleeding from their bodies, and the pool of tears that I've cried over the course of my life will be used to heal them and help them to become restored and whole. God is annointing me to be patient with those who are hurting, so that I may have the wisdom and grace to meet them where they are in their hurt.
He said that I'm right where I need to be in my walk with the Lord; that the Lord is pleased with my faithfulness to Him during times when I could have given up my faith and turned to bitterness.
Long ago, God had put a desire in my heart to minister to women...I just didn't know when or how...
The things I've endured,
not in my own strength, have weighed me down and at times have threatened to consume me...but God is showing that there is complete restoration and redemption ahead for me...
I've struggled to see myself as God sees me...as a pearl, a jem, a beautiful creation of His...revelation of that truth is here for me to fully receive...and wholeheartedly believe...
I'm completely humbled and grateful for they way God is showing me who He truly is. I don't deserve it, but God says I do because I'm His.
And because He loves me. My trials have not been for nothing (like I've at times believed). They are for my good, and for the Lord's glory.
May the things that have been spoken over me come to pass, just as you say, Lord.
